The Tory Poster Girl’s guide to packing for CPC


With -3 days to go, it’s time for those who tend to leave everything to the last minute (namely, me) to get down to the nitty-gritty of the situation: packing.
As we’re talking about the 4 most important days of the social calendar for the Tory youth (under whatever banner is en vogue at any one time), one cannot run the risk of forgetting something important. So, since we (pluralis maiestatis) are people who like to laugh at ourselves (as the birth of the hashtag #torypostergirl suggests), we will share our creative organisation skills with the public and go through a packing list to make sure we forget nothing.
This list has been compiled while listening to the soundtrack from Mamma Mia! The Movie.

Get the most elegant piece of luggage you own, this is what you need to put in there.

Half of M&S’s lingerie and hosiery department
Obviously nude tights because you’ve been wearing them before the Duchess of Cambridge was even a thing, and the basics are like the most expensive thing in the shop. Also your nightie is so pretty it could be used as a dress, because your night-time squad selfies have to be as on point as the day-time ones.

A dress per day in a colour that doesn’t show stains, plus a spare outfit 
You may not be clumsy but it’s a busy place and people can drop all sort of beverages all over you and there’s only as much you can do with DIY emergency methods (see below). It goes without saying that one of my dresses is cream, another Tory blue, and the spare has a cream blouse…

Shoes to match the dresses
With the obligatory leopard print pair, of course.

Your grandmother’s jewels
You’ll be in selfies a lot, take those pearls out.

A warm coat and scarf
It gets cold at night.

A white monogrammed handkerchief and a bottle of fizzy water
See above regarding stains. It should help delay any trips to the hotel to change outfit in case of accidents with coffee or wine, according to Mother (who has strangely not made a comment about my drinking habits when asking what to do with wine stains…)

A spray bottle with water, baking soda and fabric softener
That’s homemade Febreze. It smells nicer, it takes less space if you buy the bottle at Tiger like I did, and it still does the job of freshening up your clothes when unpacking or if you run out of clean clothes because people drink too much red wine…

Baby Powder
It works as dry shampoo, for cleaning oil stains, making shoes less painful to wear and as a basic alternative to Lush’s Silky Underwear if you don’t want to spend 8 quid on that.

Basic toiletries
That’s an easy one. Shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, flosser, moisturiser (face and body), deodorants (see above). You may want to bring towels both in case the hotel you booked is too basic to provide them and in case you use special fabrics because your hair is too delicate (or you just like to show off).

The most important hair products, pins and hairbrushes, and irons if you can’t steal them from the roomie (hello, Helen <3)
I have one brush that does pretty much everything (and approximately 10 others I never use), good hairspray, loads of pins, volume spray and the little miracle glam shine gel from Tony and Guy.

Make-up essentials 
Mine are literally concealer, powder to settle it and mascara. Then the next level is a very flattering eyeshadow which makes me look like a character from Emma Approved, eye pencil, blush and of course lipstick in various shades of red and plum. Professional brushes courtesy of Lab.2. My skin needs very little and if you’re anything like me you’d been on a routine of facials for 2 months now anyway…

Micro-cellar make-up wipes
Put them in the handbag so you can take the make-up off in your Uber back from the midnight receptions. No excuses.

General wipes
You’re spending approximately 18 hours of your day in a place full of people, mostly eating finger food. Enough said.

A weather-proof brolly

It’s England, it rains and it’s windy. Do you want to get from the hotel to the conference centre looking like you’re just done filming the kiss scene in the first Spiderman film?

They’re basically an appendix of my nose but if you are less photosensitive and likely to forget them, you will need them by the second morning because hangover.

All your medications, a lot of painkillers and some basic first aid just in case
Electrolytes for dehydration are probably really important.

Phone charger and portable battery
It’s 2016 but still I need to double check before I leave the house…

Train tickets
I mean, do you really want to give Virgin more money?

The copy of Period Living that still lays unopened on your desk
After all it’s not like you are going on holiday, you are working (lol)

You may have noticed that the list doesn’t include the pass. That’s because for reasons nobody has explained my request of having it delivered has been turned into having to pick it up in B’ham anyway. Fun times.
Also, I bet I forgot something important in this list. Motheeeeer! 

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