My relationship with dyspraxia

When I was a teenager, I met a slightly older guy in a wheelchair. At the time, I had no idea that asexuality was a thing, but sex was something pushed on me by others that could have just as easily not had for the rest of my life if it wasn’t expected of me by the person I was with. When he suggested I would obviously break up with him if we couldn’t have sex so there was no point in even trying to be together, I was hurt. Even as a staunch atheist, I was deeply a humanist, and my pro-life ethos was the same as it is now. It would be years before I would experience living with a disability for myself, so it wasn’t out of sympathy or the fact that if I gave up on someone what right would I have to expect others not to give up on me? It was simply that I liked him, we had a lot in common, we were of a perfectly legal age difference and it made no difference whatsoever to me that he couldn’t walk. 

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Why respect is vital to a relationship

Before getting married (heck, before getting engaged, I like to cover my bases and be prepared…) I have read everything I could find on having a successful relationship. I know all about the way to handle conflict respectfully, but it just wouldn’t work. I am feisty and fiery and can scream a building down. It’s when I give the silent treatment that one should begin to worry. I really struggled to put into practice what seemed to be the consensus. Don’t use “you” sentences, but tell the other person how their actions make you feel etc. I was at the point of just packing up my tent and give up on the prospect of ever succeeding at maintaining a relationship when I read Dr Gottman’s “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work“.

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We’re not a couple, we’re a family

Due to circumstances beyond our control, I saw more of the priest who witnessed my marriage in Rome than I did the Oratory House for marriage preparation. It’s an unusual modus operandi for him, but he was satisfied that just topping up our (it turns out abysmal) diocesan marriage preparation would suffice (anyone who has known me for 5 minutes knows I’m a bookworm). To our surprise, he addressed a subject that to me felt like it was the Holy Spirit speaking through him: the possibility of not having children of our own. 

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True romance is in the little things

It’s a cliché that it’s the little things that make or break a relationship, but it doesn’t mean there isn’t some truth in that. For me, at least. Recently, I have become invested in playing Otome games in my spare time. They’re good for when you are ill and can’t really use your brain much, but also don’t want to nod off in front of a TV. They engage your brain just enough to keep you awake, but not enough to be taxing when you have no energy to put into life. It’s a hard time finding good games with an interesting story, strong characters and no sex (if you are intrigued, I loved Cinderella Phenomenon and Magical Otome Ciel, both free to play on Steam), and I have played some underwhelming stories, but a theme struck me in those I like, whether a bit or a lot. The romance blossomed over the little things. 

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I re-watched One Tree Hill at 30. Here’s what it taught me about love

 

I have been toying about making this about Reylo and how I am disappointed at the ending of the Rise of Skywalker for not giving me the happy ending I wanted, even though it was a beautiful ending and Reylo fans got something they’ve wanted for ages, but I have decided to stick to the nostalgia-fest that started with the Growth post and go back to a teenage classic, One Tree Hill.

One Tree Hill is the most Christian of secular TV, as it accidentally taught a whole generation about redemption, selfless love, dealing with an unjust world and sticking around when times are hard. It’s 9 seasons of over 20 episodes each, so if you’ve never watched it prepare for a long period of catching up, and also to have you heart broken in season 3.

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